Autumn Willow and Death Eater Rehab
by MissDMalfoy
Summary: Autumn Willow is a Harry Potter lover, and as she's reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Voldemort appears and takes her to his headquarters, ordering her to make the Death Eaters happy. Rated T for murder/suicide type kind of thing. One-Shot!


**A/N: Hey, Guys!! I thought this would be a wicked funny idea. It's just a one-shot in my spare time while I'm not working on Parenting Class: 101. I mean, what would be funnier than a Harry Potter addict meeting Voldemort? Haha. So… let's get on with the oneshot.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing about Harry Potter except the plot and my own characters that I created.**

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Autumn Willow sat comfortably in her seat, a red mahogany vanity stool. Brushing her hair, she took notice to how good her hair looked today. Her thick, chest-length hair was dark strawberry-blonde with light blonde high-lights. It flowed in gentle waves and ended shortly before the middle of her back, where it curled softly at the ends.

On her vanity sat various pictures of her and her friends. It was also scattered with different brands of make-up. Numerous lip-sticks were open, some were on the floor, and the ones on her vanity were tipped over.

The most important items on her vanity were her books. Her _Harry Potter _books. They sat comfortably on her vanity, some were open with notes sticking out of them, and some were halfway ripped through the bindings.

Sighing, Autumn put her brush down and picked up her favorite book of all time. _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. _She started flipping through it, looking for one of her favorite chapters; _King's Cross_. She was still as much endeavored into it as she was when she read it the first time.

She smiled at some of the things Dumbledore said; she could never get enough of his wisdom. A loud noise interrupted Autumn from her thoughts.

"What are reading, girl?" A snake-like voice asked, almost hissing.

_That's funny,_ Autumn thought, _he sounds almost exactly like how I thought Voldemort would sound._ Autumn turned her head to the sound of the noise. Before her stood a tall, creepy man with red, narrowed eyes and slits as a nose. He was wearing thin black robes that clung rather unattractively to his body. "Excuse me sir," Autumn asked rather casually, "does your name happen to be Tom Riddle?"

If it was even possible, Voldemort's eyes narrowed even further. "It is Lord Voldemort." He stated, wanting to kill this girl right then and there. He couldn't though, he knew from the prophecy that she would stop many Death Eaters from becoming rather _depressed. _"Tell me your name."

"Me llamo Autumn." Autumn said, rolling her eyes. She carefully took in his appearance, trying to burn it into her mind forever. _She _was meeting one of the most powerful dark wizards of all time, if not the most powerful. Autumn didn't even think that wizards were real. Even if they were, she doubt that Voldemort and Harry Potter would be real, considering that they were _fictional _characters.

"I don't speak Spanish." Voldemort hissed, "I am here to kidnap you. Oh wait, pretend I never said that."

"What did you say?" Autumn asked innocently, batting her eyelashes at Voldemort.

"Good." Voldemort said, his nostrils flaring. "Now, what is your name?"

"My name is Autumn." Autumn said. "Autumn Willow."

"Unique name." Voldemort said. He had to be as polite as possible to this girl. If he was going to kidnap her, he had to win her trust.

"Oh my god!" Autumn said, "Did Voldemort just compliment me? I think the world's going to end!"

Voldemort forced a laugh; it wasn't a laugh, more of a cackle. It was still a laugh… to him at least.

"Now… Autumn," Voldemort said hesitantly, "The Death Eaters' and I have a little problem. Would you be willing to help me out?"

"What will you pay me?" She asked.

"I'll give you… er, magical powers!" He said, making up something. He wasn't really going to give it to her; he was just bribing her to come with him.

Autumn looked up excitingly. "Really?!" she exclaimed.

Voldemort looked down at her, "Er… yes."

"THANK YOU SO MUCH, TOM!" She exclaimed.

Voldemort's eyes narrowed, and he hissed. "My name is not, and never will be Tom." He said, his voice like venom.

"Sorry." She said, suddenly afraid. "I won't do it again, Lord Voldemort."

"Much better." He said, casting a wary glance at her. Was she really to save the Death Eaters? This girl, no older than fifteen, was to save the Death Eaters? Absolutely crazy. "Will you come with me?"

"Er, yes." Autumn agreed. "But what about my clothes and my belongings?"

"I'll have Narcissa or Bellatrix take care of that." Voldemort said. "Your stuff is useless in the Wizarding World."

"NARCISSA BLACK AND BELLATRIX LESTRANGE?!" She asked. "I didn't know they were real too!"

Voldemort cringed. He didn't know how he was going to deal with this girl _every single bloody day_ until he won the war.

"Let's just go." He hissed. "Take my arm. We're apparating."

Autumn thought for a moment. Did she really want to touch his scaly skin? _Well, yes._ She decided, _I'll do anything to get some magical powers. _

"Come on! Do you _want _me to Crucio you?" Voldemort asked impatiently.

"No sir!" Autumn squeaked, running and grabbing hold of his arm.

"Hold on tight." Voldemort drawled. He quickly imagined the Death Eaters' headquarters, and felt the familiar pulling sensation of apparating. Voldemort and Autumn appeared in the headquarters a second later.

"That… was… AWESOME!" Autumn gasped, breathing quickly; she needed air.

"Yeah, yeah." Voldemort said. "Follow me."

Autumn obediently followed Voldemort, walking behind him and gazing at everything in wonder.

Autumn realized that her pink Victoria's Secret sweatshirt and sweatpants didn't fit in this dark and cold place. She decided that it was best if she kept them; they gave this place some light.

They appeared in front of a door. "Now, Autumn." Voldemort lectured her, sounding almost like her father. "You are here because of a prophecy. You _will _make these Death Eaters' happy. Got it?"

She thought for a moment. "Why would I want to make the Death Eaters happy?" She asked.

"The prophecy," Voldemort started, "states that a muggle by the name of Autumn will change make the Death Eater's change, and will change the prospect of the war greatly."

"Am I going to change these Death Eaters for the better or worse?" she asked.

"I don't know," Voldemort said, "I decided to take a risk. If we lose the war, you _will _die. Got it?"

"Okay!" Autumn said. She knew that Harry won the war, so she decided that she was going to have as much fun with this task as she could. She was going to annoy every Death Eater she knew until they ended up in St. Mungo's some of the mental wards.

"Good." Voldemort said. "Now follow me." Voldemort pushed open the doors, and people immediately started catering to his needs.

"My lord," a woman said, "What do you need?"

"I need robes for Autumn," Voldemort stated. The woman stared at him confused.

"The girl from the prophecy." Voldemort reminded her. "I need the finest robes." He walked away, with Autumn trailing behind her.

"Was that Bellatrix Lestrange?" Autumn asked with curious eyes.

"Yes," Voldemort nodded. "You seem to know quite a lot about the wizarding world."

"Yes, I do!" Autumn exclaimed, "Only if I had a wand, then I would be able to do real magic…"

Voldemort thought for a moment, she knew a lot about the wizarding world, so why not give her a wand? It's not like she would be able do anything… hopefully.

"Lucius!" Voldemort hissed. "Get me a wand from Ollivanders. Ten and a half inches, Willow wood, with a Pheonix Feather."

"Yes, my lord." Lucius bowed. "I will be back in ten minutes."

After Lucius left, Bellatrix appeared. "My lord, I come with robes for the girl. They are dark green, and made of the finest silk. I also put more appropriate clothes in here for her. The skirt is a black pencil skirt, and the blouse is white. Her shoes are black pumps with a three inch heel."

"Good," Voldemort said, snatching the robes, "Now leave."

"Yes, my lord." Bella said, bowing and then scurrying out the door.

Voldemort handed the outfit to Autumn. "Get dressed in these, and then go start to work your job. Do whatever, I don't care, as long as you aren't interrupting me."

"Okay!" Autumn exclaimed, happily snatching the outfit.

"I also got you a wand." Voldemort said, eyeing Autumn's excited look. "I doubt you will be able to do anything with it yet, seeing as you are a muggle. It is ten and a half inches made of Willow wood with a Phoenix feather. It will be here in a few minutes."

"Thank you, Lord Voldemort!" She exclaimed.

Voldemort only looked at her in response. "Go." He said.

She scurried out the door, and into the nearest bathroom she could find, with the help of Bellatrix. Quickly, she got changed into her outfit. "I look good!" she exclaimed. As a final touch, she flipped her hair to make it look more wild.

Walking confidently out the door, she started looking for the blonde haired man – Lucius Malfoy – which she saw Voldemort talking to earlier.

Walking into the main room, she stood up on a chair. "I'M LOOKING FOR LUCIUS MALFOY!" She exclaimed happily.

A blonde haired man walked up her. "Yes, Autumn." He sighed.

"I want my wand." She said. "Where is it?"

"It is right here." Lucius sighed, taking it out of his pocket. He carefully handed her the wand.

Autumn picked up the wand, eying it like it was some kind of treasure. She started thinking about a spell to use. _Might as well start from the beginning, _She thought. "_Wingardium Leviosa_!" She cried, pointing the wand at Lucius. He levitated in the air, his annoyed face turned to one of pure aggravation, rage, and surprisingly a little bit of amusement was in there.

"Oops?" Autumn said, waving her wand, and placing Lucius on the ground. "I'm sorry; I didn't think it would work."

"It's… okay." Lucius sighed. "I didn't think it would work either." He walked away.

Autumn watched Lucius walk away. She decided that she couldn't do a Patronus, because there were probably Dementor's surrounding this place. She decided to try one of the unforgivables.

Before that, she noticed that Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange were unusually very young. Was she in a different timeline? Autumn guessed that Lucius Malfoy couldn't be any older than twenty two, and Bellatrix Lestrange couldn't be any older than twenty-six.

After pondering about everyone's ages, she wandered around for a good Death Eater to use the Imperius Curse on. She spotted Igor Karkaroff, and decided that she would do something funny to him. "Imperio." She whispered, pointing her wand at him. He looked around for the source of spell, but found none. _ Dance the tango. _Autumn commanded. He did so.

It was quite a strange sight, watching a Death Eater dance. He was surprisingly good; gliding gracefully up and down the room, sticking a few spins in the dance here-and-there. After Autumn was no longer amused, she took the spell off and walked happily to the middle of the room. The Death Eater's just looked on with pure amusement, and then continued whatever work they were doing.

After stepping up on a table, Autumn called out, "I really need your attention, please!" No one heard her polite request. "I WANT YOUR ATTENTION RIGHT NOW!"

All the men and women looked up from what they were doing. "What do you want?" One Death Eater sighed. Autumn guessed it was Callisto Burk, a new Death Eater. He had just graduated Hogwarts, and received the Dark Mark just a few days ago.

"You guys all know that I'm the girl from the prophecy, right?" Autumn asked. Several heads nodded. "Well, I'm here because if I change the prospect of life for you guys, you have a better chance to win this war."

"Okay, but what does this have to do with you standing on a chair?" Lucius Malfoy asked.

"I think you guys are depressed. Could you please raise your hand if you are?" Autumn said. Several hands shot up into the air.

"Okay, now I want you guys to sit in a circle right over there." Autumn pointed. "I'm going to be your counselor. Hopefully within a few days you'll be happier and more optimistic about the future."

"We've never learned to be truly happy." Lucius Malfoy reminded her. "Well, most of us haven't." He looked towards Bellatrix Lestrange. Surprisingly, Bellatrix had actually had a semi-happy childhood. She had her younger cousin, Sirius to spend time with, also her sister Narscissa and Andromeda. (A/N: I think?) When she got married right out of Hogwarts to that nasty man Rodulphus Lestrange, a lot of things changed. He 'changed' her into a sick woman that meaner than him and ten times more cruel. What he didn't know was that Bella was still the same girl from ten years ago, nice and happy. She just hid it so she wouldn't get killed by the Dark Lord or her husband.

"Yes," Igor Karkaroff agreed. "We've only learned pleasure, and that's from torturing other people."

"Okay," Autumn said, clearly exasperated, "Just go sit in the damn circle if your depressed. Okay?"

Out of the fifty or so Death Eaters that were at the Headquarters at the moment, about thirty-five of them walked over and quietly sat down in the circle. They looked at the people that claimed they weren't depressed and shook their head. Autumn had just offered them free counseling. Who wouldn't take free counseling?

A few minutes later, Autumn came back with… nothing? "Follow me." She ordered. Autumn and the Death Eater's walked through the hallways. Finally, they came to a door that had cartoon flowers in it. "Come on guys. Let's go inside!" Autumn pushed the door open. It was almost exactly like the Fairy Tale room from _Imagination Movers,_ a child TV show that Autumn had saw onetime while she was sick at home.

The grass was an unnatural green that felt plastic-like and crunched when you walked on it. There were various gumdrops in numerous places around the room. There was a Gingerbread playhouse that could fit about, say, ten people. There was a small candy-cane forest off to the right. In the middle, there were fluffy pink, purple, blue, and green mats that were formed in a circle.

"Go sit." Autumn commanded. Everyone did so. "Today, I would like you all to introduce yourself and give me a suggestion on how you like to be happy. Okay?"

Everyone nodded their heads. Lucius Malfoy stood up first. "Hi, my names Lucius Malfoy and I'm a depressed Death Eater."

"Hello, Lucius!" Everyone said.

"I want to be happy, and to do that I thought it would be fun if we could all sing some songs, like the Ring Around the Fire."

"Okay, is that some sort of wizard song?" Autumn asked. "The only song that I know that is similar to that is Ring Around the Rosie."

"Who _doesn't _know Ring Around the Fire?" Lucius asked. "You know, Ring around the Fire, a pocket full of bombs, ashes, ashes, everybody dies!"

"LUCIUS!" Autumn exclaimed. "This is a _happy _clinic, not a killing one! Sit down!"

"Okay," Lucius replied ashamed, "I still think it's a good song though."

"It's not," Autumn replied, "Who's next?"

The next twenty-nine Death Eaters did similar things. Introduce themselves, and then make a bad suggestion on how to be happy. The only good suggestion was from Narcissa Black (soon to be Malfoy) was that everyone should play hide-and-go-seek in the Candy Cane forest, then pick flowers, and then finally make hot chocolate and talk about how the day went. She also suggested that they should sing Ring Around the Rosie. When she suggested this, she received quite a glare from her fiancé.

"Okay people!" Autumn started. "First we'll be playing hide-and-go-seek in the Candy Cane Forest. Okay? I'll be 'it'. I'm going to count to twenty, then come and find you. Go!"

All the Death Eaters scurried away. Some put charms on themselves, and some snuck their Invisibility Cloaks on them. The only ones that played fair were Igor Karakroff, Narcissa Black, and Lucius Malfoy (because Narcissa made him. He was going to use his Invisibility Cloak, but Narcissa threatened him.)

"READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!" Autumn shouted. She started searching. She went around, but found no one. She mysteriously bumped into nothing a few times. After the third time, she finally caught on. She made sure her face didn't show it, and just went back to how she was searching. When she finally bumped into something for a fourth time, she made sure she grabbed it quick and pulled the cloak off.

"How did you know about these things?" Rodulphus asked.

"I have my ways." Autumn smirked.

"You would be a great Slytherin, you know." He told her. "You even have a signature smirk down."

"Okay, I don't care about that." Autumn told Rodulphus. She turned to the rest of the Candy Cane Forest. "PEOPLE! Whoever is wearing an Invisibility Cloak or is under an Invisibility Charm, TAKE IT OFF!"

Almost all the Death Eaters did that. She thought for a moment. "If anyone is currently hiding under their Animagus forms transform back RIGHT NOW!" Even more Death Eaters transformed back. "If you cheated," Autumn started, "come over here next to me and sit in the Circle of Shame."

All the Death Eaters walked to the Circle of Shame, a few of them with smirks on their faces. Autumn wiped that smirk off their face when she told them that she knew the Bat Bogey Hex and would do that to them while being under the Cruciatus Curse. "I've already done an unforgivable today, so don't make me do another one." She told them.

Autumn noticed that Igor, Narcissa, Lucius were not in the Circle of Shame. She went to go find them. "Where are you, Igor, Narcissca, and Lucius?!" She called. After a few minutes of searching, she found a scared Igor Karkaroff hiding in the back of the Candy Cane Forest.

"What's the matter?" she asked him.

"You used an unforgivable!" He exclaimed.

"So?" She told him. "It's not like you've never used one."

"True," he said, "but you're just a fifteen year old girl that's not even a Death Eater! At least have I have an excuse to use an unforgivable."

"I'm fourteen, Igor." She said, and then continued to search for Lucius and Narcissa. After five minutes of searching she found Lucius scrunched in between two Candy Canes that were very close together. "I found you!"

Lucius squeezed himself out and inhaled sharply. "I can breathe!" He exclaimed.

"Okay, Lucius. Why don't you go sit down over there?" Autumn suggested.

"Okay!" He exclaimed, walking happily to wherever he was supposed to sit.

Autumn kept looking for Narscissa. She looked in between Candy Canes, and even climbed a few of the taller ones to see if she was up there. After twenty minutes of searching, she sighed and leaned on one of the larger Candy Canes.

"Gosh, where is Nar-GAH!" Autumn yelled as the tree trunk fell over. Inside the trunk was Narcissa Black. She was sitting down comfortably-Indian style- and knitting a pair of mittens. It was quite strange seeing a Death Eater knitting. "I found you!"

"What the-oh! Hello, Autumn! Look what I made for you!" Narcissa said proudly, showing Autumn the pair of lopsided mittens that she was knitting.

"That's very kind of you, Narcissa!" Autumn exclaimed. "Let's go over and pick some flowers."

"Okay!" Narcissa exclaimed.

Autumn and Narcissa walked happily to the Circle of Shame. "I found Narcissa!" Autumn happily exclaimed. "Now we're going to pick flowers!"

"Okay…" The Death Eaters said, a little unsurely.

"Let's go! Follow me!" Autumn said, motioning everyone to follow her.

"Okay…" The Death Eaters said, still unsure.

Autumn happily skipped through the hallways, and after a few minutes a few people started skipping too. Rodulphus Lestrange eventually gave in, and started skipping too. Autumn stopped at a door, and said, "This is the flower room, when you go in I want you to pick flowers for someone. If they are not in this clinic you can still give flowers to them. Okay?"

"Yes, Autumn." Everyone replied.

"Ta-Dah!" Autumn exclaimed, pushing the doors to the Flower Room open. Inside the grass was green and _alive,_ and flowers were everywhere. "Go pick some flowers!"

All the Death Eaters scattered around the room, frantically picking flowers. Narcissa picked some Narcissi, and Lucius picked some Roses for Narcissa. Rodulphus also picked some roses for his wife, Bellatrix, and also put some Baby's Breath in there too. Some Death Eaters that didn't know what they were picking, picked Calla Lilies. They handed them to their so-called 'loved' one, and the girls ran away in horror, thinking that they wanted them to die.

"Hello, Autumn!" Igor Karkaroff said, "I picked you a flower." He showed her a Chrysanthemum and handed it to her.

"Thank you, Igor! That was very kind of you!" Autumn exclaimed.

"You're welcome." Igor responded.

Voldemort decided to stroll in at that moment. "Are we coming along well, Autumn?"

"Of course we are! We played hide-and-go-seek and now we're picking flowers!"

Voldemort scrunched his nose. "That's… interesting."

"It's very fun, my Lord!" Lucius Malfoy intervened. "I got stuck between to Candy Canes though… I couldn't breathe."

"I don't care." Voldemort said.

"Okay, my Lord."

"Oh, Uncle Voldie! You should come and pick flowers with us!" Autumn exclaimed.

"What did you just call me?" Voldemort hissed, taking out his wand.

"Um, nothing?" Autumn squeaked.

"Hmm…" Voldemort pondered. "I distinctly remember you calling me 'Uncle Voldie'."

"Um…" She said, trying to come up with an excuse.

"Yes, that's right. You can't think of an excuse. What a shame… I might just have to kill you." Voldemort said, "_Avada Kadavra!"_

A green flash burnt out of Voldemort's wand. It hit Autumn straight in the chest, and she fell to the floor. Narcissa gasped and ran over to Autumn.

"Autumn! Are you alive?" Narcissa asked, frantically checking to see if she was alive.

"You idiot! Of course she isn't alive; she's dead because I used the killing curse on her!"

"Sorry, my Lord." Narcissa said, looking back down at Autumn.

"Narcissa, why did you have to say sorry to Uncle Voldie?" Autumn asked a few seconds later, wheezing and coughing.

"Autumn!" Narcissa exclaimed. "You're alive!"

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Autumn asked, trying to sit up.

"Voldemort used the killing curse on you, Autumn." Narcissa explained softly.

"OH! That means I lived! Do I have a scar on my head? Is it a lightning bolt?" Autumn asked excitedly.

"Yes, yes it is a lightning bolt." Narcissa said to her softly. "How did you know?"

"Er… lucky guess?" Autumn said, trying to convince Narcissa and the other people.

"I totally believe you." Narcissa said sarcastically.

"Okay, but can we get on with our Happy Clinic?!" Autumn said.

"No, you just almost died. Hell, you survived the Killing Curse!" Narcissa exclaimed. "You deserve a celebration!"

"Can my celebration be Ring Around the Rosie?"

"Fine." Narcissa said. "But only one time."

"Okay!"

Narcissa turned to the Death Eaters. "My Lord and Death Eaters, as a celebration for Autumn surviving the Killing Curse, she has decided that we all sing Ring Around the Rosie. So everyone, get in a circle and join hands." She commanded.

Everyone did so, and that's including Voldemort too. "On the count of three, start singing." Autumn commanded. "One, two, three!"

"Ring around the rosie; a pocket full of posy; ashes, ashes, we all fall DOWN!" Everybody sang, and falling down at the end.

The rest of the evening went by fairly uneventful. Autumn slept in the headquarters in a room that was decked out in Slytherin colors. Nice dreams about her day invaded her dreams, and she slept peacefully.

When she woke in the morning, no one was at the headquarters. When she saw the fireplace and some Floo Powder, she decided to go to Diagon Alley and see what was happening there.

Upon arriving Diagon Alley, she noticed that a lot of people were rejoicing. Most of the Death Eaters were too. She snuck off into Flourish and Blott's and bought a Daily Prophet. It read:

**Voldemort: Gone For Good!**

_This morning, around two, You-Know-Who was officially declared dead in the Ministry of Magic. According to the current Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, You-Know-Who Floo'd to the Ministry and caused severe mayhem among the people that were residing there. He went to the Minister, and begged him to kill him. According to Minister Fudge, You-Know-Who said, "Kill me! Just kill me! I can't take any of this madness longer. I can't believe I let a supposed muggle girl give my Death Eater's rehabilitation! Just kill me!"_

_ Minister Fudge was shocked; "I didn't know what do to. I had heard a rumor that he had Horcruxes, so I asked him. He said yes and he made all of his Death Eater's destroy them all so I killed him." He said._

_ For the first time in many years, the world is free of Voldemort. The Death Eater's that still support Voldemort are in Azkaban. Among them are the Blacks (Not including Narcissa), Burks, and Carrows. The other Death Eaters were tested under Veritaserum and were innocent, for their families had forced them to become Death Eaters._

_ Autumn Willow was the 'muggle' girl that drove Voldemort into a point of insanity. She discovered that she was a witch once Voldemort gave her possession of a wand. She will be joining Hogwarts as a fourth year student in September. She didn't receive a letter because she is American, and Hogwarts only sends acceptance letters to persons that live in the UK unless you have sent in an application._

_ Rejoice all, and have a happy life without Voldemort._

_ By: Rita Skeeter_

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**A/N: What did you guys think? I thought it was kind of funny at points. I rushed it a little bit, I think. Parts could have been explained in more detail, but I just wanted to get this out to you guys as fast as I could. I am WICKED sorry for ANY grammatical mistakes.**

**I HAVE JUST MORE REQUEST! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also do not own Imagination Movers. **

**ONCE AGAIN PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Bye! P.S. This was twenty-four pages and 4,500 words!!! (Longest I've ever written.)**


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